Prices of shit and cow dung sky rocketed, as demand from Indian political parties increased ahead of the state and central elections, reported by special bureau of the India Satire.
"All the political parties are buying huge quantities of shit and cow dung from each and every corner of the country before they start their final rallies for the central elections," said Ramcharan Sharma, owner of a largest cow and buffalo tabela in Uttar Pradesh.
Prices of shit increased by 130% and cow dung by 90% in last 2 months after many parties started kicking up their new rallies for the elections. Generally, this shit is used to throw on their rival parties. According to sources, currently Congress and BJP are top 2 buyers.
"It is necessary to collect required stock of dung and shit, as it has to be used all the time of election period. We have just completed purchase of developmental shit from every corner of Gujarat to answer Congress Party’s secular shit," said BJP President Rajnath Singh.
The sources confirmed that many parties are competing with Congress led UPA on purchasing secular shit and Aam Aadmi Party in purchasing corruption shit so that they can come as a third front option.
"My sources said that Mulayam Singh Yadav has routed all the money from his new government in buying secularism as well as anti-Congress anti-CBI shit. This way he will stay in comfortable position if Congress wins in the election or not," said Ramcharan Sharma. However, he also suggested that Mayawati is not yet started bulk purchasing.
Experts suggested that 2014 central elections and elections in many states will see record amount of shit throwing. Parties like Aam Aadmi Party and MNS are resorting to inexpensive corruption and regionalism shit, respectively.
"Their agenda is new and nobody else has chosen it for election campaigning because of high risk nature. Therefore, the shit is also getting at very cheap prices," said expert Rajendra Bandopaddhyay who closely tracks the political developments.
He also said that parties like DMK and AIADMK have sent their shit collectors to Sri Lanka to get shitty developments of anti-Tamil environment.
Election Commission has never formed any kind of rules and regulations over buying shit and therefore political parties have never shown any restraint in bulk purchasing. However, many experts said that Election Commission should come in picture to stop leaders from buying and throwing so much of shit on their counterparts.
Exclusive Report - India Satire
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