How to play Playstation 4 / XBox for 20 hours continuously?

Many people want to learn how to play PS 4 and XBox on their PC, Mobile or iPhone while some people want to understand how they could play these two uninterruptedly for hours. While any stupid and crap technology website will give answer to the first question, second one needs an expert's opinion. Our technology expert Marc Zuckerburg will help you in answering the second question

Steps to improve stamina for PS 4 and XBox

·         You need two days of preparation.

·         On first day, create a to-do list for next day, sleep early and wake up early next day.

·         As a chain PS 4/XBox player you must be a near brother of owl but you have to understand that waking up early is prominent here

·         So sleep whatever time but wake up around 5 am in the morning. To wake up early, watching Donald Trump's photo before sleeping may help you. If you are Indian, dream like Rahul or watch KRK's photo. People from other countries may watch weirdo of their respective nations.

·         As soon as you wake up at 5 am, just run to the toilet before occupying it anybody else. Give a nice time to let the things go out of your body. Because its 5 in the morning you will have sufficient time.

·         Bathing is not necessary

·         Bring a saline from the neighboring medical store, put fruit juice/beer/milk or anything you want into it. Properly fit that saline to a metal rod near your computer

·         Now inject that saline into your body, whether into your arm, hand or your ass

·         Give your Mumma the schedule to follow - 9 am apple juice in the breakfast, 12 pm vegetable soup in lunch, 5 pm some coffee/tea, 9 pm manchow soup

·         This way your family, friends, relatives and your sleep will not disturb you from playing PS 4

After celebrities, Anant Ambani is open for demonstration to general public

India's top businessman Mukesh Ambani has decided to showcase his child Anant's super natural change in body during last 18 months to general public. Anant was earlier demonstrated in front of celebrities and top people at his house Antilla in Mumbai.

"Now as the demonstration of Anant in front of creamy layer is over, we decided to show him to general public," said Mukesh Ambani "We will put him on Wankhede ground after IPL match to show how one buddy could reduce 108kg in 18 months."

Mukesh Ambani confirmed that the Royal Couple, Prince Williams and his wife Kate Middleton which came to India want Anant to take to Royal Palace to showcase him in front of population of Britain.

Shoe thrown at Arvind Kejriwal; shoe companies fight claiming it was their brand

A fight among the large shoe companies to take credit has emerged after a guy of Aam Aadmi Sena hurled a shoe at Aam Aadmi Party Chief and Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal.

"We designed that shoe," said Director of Bata India "Our shoe is designed to work well in such attacks. It creates high decibels of noise after it hits on the target so that people know it has touched the target. Our sources at the event confirmed that after the shoe touched its target it created a strong noise."

According to the management of Mirza International, another leading shoe company, the shoe carries a tag of Red Tape.

"We zoomed out that shoe and found it was perfectly our shoe. We have designed that model which fits into attacker's legs and on the face of the target. These models are developed in such a way that people could see them through their naked eyes," Mirza's official confirmed.

These shoe companies plan to go to court to get the legal stamp on their claim for 'that' particular shoe.

"I don't know which shoes brand that funny guy; Ved Prakash wore in another leg. But I am damn sure that whatever shoe he threw was Bata's," said Bata India's Director.

Few other shoe companies, which include Liberty and Relaxo Footwear took different view. Director of Liberty Shoes told India Satire correspondent that the shoe didn't belong to Liberty, as it couldn't hit the target perfectly while director of Relaxo said that the company didn't manufacture leather shoes and if Ved Prakash would have used sports shoes his target could have been perfectly accomplished.

Jealous of Anant Ambani, Pappu Pandey lost 1/2 kg - Reports

Pappu Pandey unknowingly lost 1/2 kg in a day after he found India's richest businessman Mukesh Ambani's son Anant Ambani lost 108kg in 18 months.

"It was sheer jealousy that helped Pappu lost 1/2 kg within a day without doing anything," said Pappu's elder brother Chunky Pandey "He ate everything yesterday still we found him 1/2 kg lighter compared to day before."

Pappu is a son of wealthiest halwai of India Pinchu Pandey. Pappu is known for his love for jalebis and recorded his name in Guinness Book of World Records after eating thousands of jalebis in an hour's time.

"U hamaar bituwa rahai. Kauno Ambani kaa naahi. Hum ka pata hai ki hamaar Pappuwa bhi 400-500 kilo ekai saal mein loose karai rahe," said proud father Pinchu Pandey after he saw Pappu to be lighter by 1/2 kg.

Women devotees to fight new crusade; want men devotees to wear full clothes in Shani Shingnapur Temple

After a major victory for women devotees on the occasion of Hindu New Year Gudi Padwa, as the Shani Shingnapur temple trust in Maharashtra on Friday allowed them inside the sanctum sanctorum they want men to wear full clothes and not roaming topless around the venue. Just after entered the temple, first batch of women shocked seeing few topless men praying in front of God Shani as per the cusoms and rituals.

"That view was shocking. Few people without caring about women in the temple were half nude making us totally uncomfortable," said one of the women devotees who got opportunity to be in the first batch "There should be some sense that they were in front of women. We immediately complained the temple authorities which showed lack of interest in getting things sorted out and asking the men devotees to wear clothes. Now we plan to move to court."

The devotee told India Satire correspondent that they will try all the legal options including requesting Pahlaj

Nihalani to personally look after the issue.   

(This is satire and fake news just created for generating some humour)

ISI, Pakistan army arranges crash course for Pakistan panelists to successfully debate on Arnab Goswami's show

After daily bashing from Times Now Editor and News Hour anchor Arnab Goswami and his Indian colleagues, Pakistan army and its intelligence agency, Inter service Intelligence (ISI) decided to take crash course of Pakistan participants on how to deal with Arnab. According to Pakistan's army chief Gen. Raheel Sharif, the Pakistan's intellectual army fades away while combating against Arnab. Sharif decided about the step after he watched yesterday's News Hour show in which Arnab Goswami along with other Indian panelists was bashing Pakistani High Commissioner to India Abdul Basit.

"There is no need to teach them fabricated lies, that's in our blood. It's just like how a galli guy of India plays against any kind of spin bowling that's how we deal with scenario using all the lies. However, we need to improve their aggression and way of delivering lies," said Pakistan's army chief General Raheel Sharif to Reporter of leading English daily Dawn "It's just tweaking the way of talking. Therefore we decided to give lectures to Pakistan's esteemed intellectuals on dealing against Arnab Goswami under the guidance of Pakistan army's social media wing dictator General Bajwa."

When Dawn reporter asked if the participants despite rigorous training fail to deliver against Arnab, Sharif said "We will give them few nuclear hand grenades to throw on Arnab Goswami or else we will provide them battle tanks and missiles so that they would straight away target Times Now building from seating in Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad. Our army is fighter. Our Tariq Pirzada is sufficient for these News Hour guys; his bald skull is full of thousands of small nuclear bombs."

 

Critic of lengthy one day and test cricket played Playstation 4 for 18 hours

A harsh critic of test and one day cricket for being too lengthy, Pappu Pandey found playing on Playstation 4 for 18 hours nonstop till his body jammed and mouth pained due to constant yawning, said sources close to him.

"Pappu is famous for his criticism on 7-8 hours format of test and one day cricket respectively. He believes that the long hour format makes the game boring and also painful for ass. However, he played on some unknown game on Playstation for 18 hours which itself is shocking," said the source requesting anonymity.

The source confirmed that everybody in the group which is a fan of all formats of cricket decided to take on with Pappu over the hypocrisy.