How to play Playstation 4 / XBox for 20 hours continuously?

Many people want to learn how to play PS 4 and XBox on their PC, Mobile or iPhone while some people want to understand how they could play these two uninterruptedly for hours. While any stupid and crap technology website will give answer to the first question, second one needs an expert's opinion. Our technology expert Marc Zuckerburg will help you in answering the second question

Steps to improve stamina for PS 4 and XBox

·         You need two days of preparation.

·         On first day, create a to-do list for next day, sleep early and wake up early next day.

·         As a chain PS 4/XBox player you must be a near brother of owl but you have to understand that waking up early is prominent here

·         So sleep whatever time but wake up around 5 am in the morning. To wake up early, watching Donald Trump's photo before sleeping may help you. If you are Indian, dream like Rahul or watch KRK's photo. People from other countries may watch weirdo of their respective nations.

·         As soon as you wake up at 5 am, just run to the toilet before occupying it anybody else. Give a nice time to let the things go out of your body. Because its 5 in the morning you will have sufficient time.

·         Bathing is not necessary

·         Bring a saline from the neighboring medical store, put fruit juice/beer/milk or anything you want into it. Properly fit that saline to a metal rod near your computer

·         Now inject that saline into your body, whether into your arm, hand or your ass

·         Give your Mumma the schedule to follow - 9 am apple juice in the breakfast, 12 pm vegetable soup in lunch, 5 pm some coffee/tea, 9 pm manchow soup

·         This way your family, friends, relatives and your sleep will not disturb you from playing PS 4

Everything you should know about Uttarakhand crisis and President’s Rule

​Following is the guide which gives a detailed glimpse of Uttarakhand crisis and President's rule imposed by Central Government.

What was the issue all about?

·         9 Congress Party MLAs of Uttarkhand wanted to go on sabbatical to show their wives a new world, which ex-Chief Minister didn't grant. Giving the reason that his intolerable hair oil constantly freeze their noses, they removed the support of the government.

·         When asked about giving them sabbatical, Harish Rawat said "What the f*ck?" Giving f*ck to these rebel Congress and hungry deprived BJP MLAs for Uttarkhand chair, the speaker said "Appropriation Bill is passed," opening a new chance for self f*cking.

·         These MLAs (including BJPs) moved to Governor KK Paul for some chit chat and checking whether sending Harish Rawat on sabbatical was possible. "Marie biskut was extremely soggy and fell into my cup of tea;" said one of the BJP MLAs who was present at the meeting "Blame it on Harish bhai."

·         Paul scratched his head and thought something and muttered "Hmmmm... This Harish guy is too oversmart, that day his wife was outshining mine and he was laughing. I will show him his place." and asked the government to prove his majority before the yearend holiday.

·         His Personal Assistant complained "Paul saab isn't giving me compensatory off although I had overtime that day before typing that letter in the blood of the democracies' body."

·         Prime Minister Narendra Modi called urgent meeting of cabinet to discuss the issue and take steps. He presented facts in front of Rahul, Sonia Gandhi and asked their support. "Mummy I don't like Harish uncle's hair oil. It is way too stingy," Rahul opens up first time in the closed door meeting and asked Sonia Gandhi to take steps. "Don't worry Raul Baba! Randip (not Hooda, its Surjewala) issue the statement that its murder of democracy. Modiji, go ahead and let Rawatji sit in his home having a serious make over from his wife."

·         Today, Harish Rawat found carrying handbag carrying a small chit of paper which has given by his wife, Renuka Rawat. Message on the paper was "Bring 1 litre milk, 1/2kilo baingan, 1/2kilo gobi (saaf ki huyi), 1kilo tamaatar aur 2 kilo aaloo. Put the money unspent in my purse."

So what is President's rule?

President's rule is imposed by Central Government if State Government does anything unconstitutional. So what is unconstitutional? Any act which is not having been mentioned in 395 articles, 12 schedules, 25 parts and 117,369 English words of Constitution of India is unconstitutional. So any government that darns these 117,369 English words could be ousted by Central Government and brings a peaceful President's rule.

What happens under President's rule?

Nothing specific. Ousted party calls it murder of democracy. You may get some free sops and enjoyable luxurious things from central government apart from daily media coverage.

How's life under President's rule?

Great! You feel like you are in USA. You don't need to work. You get salaries at home. You can buy anything at free of cost. Beautiful girls come to you and propose you. Lovely corruption free life. If you are thinking all these then forget, nothing changes under President's rule. Only change is the name in Government's schemes.

Why are Sensex and Nifty falling today?

·        Latha Venkatesh saw a horrible dream of world coming to end by end of this year if nobody listens to her advice.

·        World woke up in the morning and suddenly realized that the health of banking and energy companies in Japan is bad.

·        So many Indians which always follow everything western and global, started selling off their shares as much as they could.

·        Everybody who ignored SP Tulsian's advice which he gave 2 years back on the same day that Nikkei would drop more than 5% someday are perished today. Two years back here on CNBC TV18 he told Zika virus would take Japanese bond yields to negative.

·        Somehow Japan was also punished for his run against Uncle Sam's greenback – that is so-called US dollar. Thereafter, on today's auspicious day every investor in the world woke up and started dumping Japanese stocks.

·        Stock markets in Asia were lower and Japanese government bond yields hit record lows after concerns about the health of banking and energy companies led to selloffs overnight.

·        Japanese expert Chon-kim-Won (also called SP Tulsian in English) "There are some concerns about the banking sector, energy sector and yen appreciation which I saw in my dreams."

·        Also Zika virus infected German unit of Canadian financial institution Maple Financial Group was closed by Germany's financial watchdog on Sunday.

5 Ways to avail benefit from food security bill if you are tax payer and rich

As the UPA Government is pushing food security bill for 67% of India's population through ordinance route this monsoon session, India's rest 33% section of population is wondering how he will benefit from such bill and feels regretted for not coming under BPL or the economically weaker section category. If you are rich and wealthy, but still if you want to leave a legacy of being poor, deprived and hungry person to your child so that he can avail benefits of food security bill, here the India Satire brings some tips for you.

(Note: Rather than cursing Government for providing free food to huge population out of tax payer's money and adding huge amount to fiscal deficit, the India Satire brings a new and fresh approach towards food security bill so that everybody in India can benefit from it and live happily ever.)

A checklist to join the list of beneficiaries of Food Security Bill

Ö         Leave your job immediately and apply for BPL category

Ö         Ask your employer to pay salary by cash

Ö         Marry your maid/servant, take the Green Card (sorry Blue Card) and immediately file for divorce

Ö         Spend 25000 rupees up front to get ration card for poor from nearby MLA or corporate

Ö         Form an NGO protest against Government to increase the minimum limit to be a BPL family

Note: Issued in Public Interest

Reacting to allegations, Akhilesh Yadav released a list of his invisible achievements

Reacting to the allegations by media, Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav said that development is invisible and can only feel.

"Boss, it's not necessary that all the development work is visible. Tell me, can you see air? But you can feel it. Development in Uttar Pradesh is same thing. You can only feel it and not necessarily you can see it by open eyes," said Akhilesh Yadav.

On completion of first year to his government, a leading news paper has alleged Akhilesh Yadav that his promises mostly unfulfilled.

Yadav said reporters "My government has fulfilled all the promises but the work and effects are invisible. You need special eyes to see them and not ordinary ones. But now that you don't have those special, angelic eyes I give you the list of my achievements."

List of Achievement

Promises

w  Law and Order situation will be improved

w  Communal riots will be declined

w  Rapes will be reduced

w  Development work all over the state

w  Tablets to Class X students

Invisible Achievements

w  Law and Order situation improved in Karachi, immediately after Akhilesh Yadav joined UP assembly

w  Communal riots declined just recently 2 days back in Dhaka

w  Rapes reduced in Haryana to 75 per day from 77 per day

w  Development work all over Gujarat, better road projects in Maharashtra and good quality bridges, damns and metro railways all over South India, just after joining Akhilesh

w  Central Govt yet to declare plan on free Akash tablets to Class X. As soon as Pappa becomes Prime Minister he would introduce such scheme.

Rahul Bose Case - Benefits of bad publicity

Recent statement from actor, Rahul Bose opened an important chapter of benefits of bad publicity. Following are the benefits and negatives of negative publicity.

Benefits of negative publicity

¨       Considered as a human being with a tail

¨       Considered as humanitarian

¨       Considered as creative

¨       Considered as intellect

¨       Considered as secular

¨       Invitation from limited special social status people

¨       Admiration from limited special social status people

¨       Admiration from powerful people like rapists and terrorists

Negatives

¨       Considered as dumbass hole

¨       Considered as frequently tracked animal by unholy mass people

¨       Considered as a special category animal to be inducted in zoo but because of few humanitarian reasons still living on the roads