After India's poor performance in its happiness quotient, ranking 118th out of 156 countries in a global list of the happiest nations, down one slot from last year on the index and coming behind China, Pakistan and Bangladesh, the government has decided to take curative actions. India's HRD minister Smriti Irani hastily announced more sops for saas bahu serials and news channels promoting secular and intellectual propaganda.
"Our Prime Minister Mr. Narendra Modi doesn't want the government to be only seen as business friendly by focusing more on improving ranking in Ease of Doing Business Index. Modi's heart also bits for aam aadmis and therefore we have decided to work on improving happiness index of the country. We have therefore decided to take some remedial action, which we believe would substantially improve the ranking next year. We are increasing sops for saas bahu serials and would grant special allowances to NDTV, ABP News and Aaj Tak which would ensure a substantial improvement in the happiness of people," said Smriti Irani "Indians always try to find dusre ke dukh me apni khushi (happiness in someone else' sorrows) and watching nasty things on news channels. And therefore, we decided to give higher subsidies to general entertainment channels asking them to increase conspiracies between saas and bahus while providing more help to Rajdeep and Barkha to become more outraged against us, helping them to make Indians happier."
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