Tuesday 8 March 2016

Breaking News: Kanhaiya Kumar suffers constipation


India's newest hero and revolutionary Kanhaiya Kumar is suffering from constipation since yesterday night, according to a journalist of NDTV.

"He ate something utter shutter yesterday night at Singh is King Dhaba in Delhi and since then he is suffering bad constipation," said the NDTV reporter who was left by the TV channel's top journalist Barkha Dutt at Kanhaiya's room to give the newest born hero personal care and affection.

The reporter said that prima facie it looked like government's conspiracy in the nexus of Dhabewala who put something constipatory in that food to disturb the idea of food azaadi. The reporter confirmed to NDTV that keeping Kanhaiya busy trying for potty would stop him raking the logic of Afzal's azaadi.

"Since early morning he was visiting toilet but in spite of trying hard, moaning loudly and pushing insanely potty is not allowing itself to come out," informed the reporter in a small chat with NDTV anchor Sreenivasan Jain "His left bum wants some azaadi from the constipation."

The reporter also confirmed that JNUSU students started shouting slogans such as "Kanhaiya maange azaadi. Kanhaiya maange constipation se azaadi."

According to sources, Barkha Dutt immediately in the morning left to Kanhaiya's campus to help him recover from the situation.

"She will provide her sentimental support, caring and motherly love which will boost his inner instincts in fighting the constipatory problem," confirmed reporter.

(Fake News)

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