With controversial statement, Aamir Khan formally revealed his step by step promotional strategy for Dangal

Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan on Monday confirmed that joining the rising chorus against growing "intolerance" and publicly uttering his wife Kiran Rao's suggestion to leave the country is actually a promotional activity before releasing his film. He told India Satire correspondent that he will go step by step to ensure that Dangal will be damn hit on the box office. He exclusively revealed all the steps he considers before releasing any movie.

Aamir Khan

 

"Guys, I am happy that I am here on India Satire to tell you about the successful marketing and promotional strategies to ensure any of my crap movies will succeed on the box office. You guys must have seen my third grade movies like Dhoom 3 and PK but you must have also seen that they are the most successful movies on the box office. So by revealing the strategies of marketing Dangal, I also reveal how to successfully market the crap and third class movies.

Step 1: Always make sure that every step, like from going to toilet or bathroom in the morning, to eating, sleeping, meeting other people and everything even yawning, burping, farting all should be in juxtaposition with the upcoming movie. See it's related to money boss, if you make billions of rupees then even if you shit that shit should be crying for money whenever it releases your tummy. I only think about money and the box office success of my movies easily comes thereafter. Even for that matter, my **** with ex-*** and putting my **** into mental hospital were real promotional ideas.

Step 2: Do anything that will help you garner public attention. So put yourself involved in Narmada Bachao Aandolan before Fanaa so that your fans who hate Narendra Modi would want to see that crap movie. Keep a big moustache to promote your third rated movie 'Mangal Pandey'. I will continue to stay 100kg of weight till the release of Dangal.

Step 3: Make some controversial statement to gain attention. Like this time it's 'Intolerance in India'. So it will allow me to promote both my tv program 'Satyamev Jayate' and movie 'Dangal'. Forget 'Incredible India' campaign, I am not going to get a single penny from it.

Step 4: Release some negativity filled program like Satyamev Jayate to show you are a heart filled person for society. I can also artificially shed some tears for no reason which I have learnt in my child hood. If you closely look at my programs they either try to weigh on political changes or before release of my movie. For example, previous year Satyamev Jayate was released twice, one before election (don't want to tell why before elections or is it because Modi and BJP) and one before release of PK. This year there was no benefit in releasing Satyamev Jayate as there is no political event lined up or no movie is going to be released. But next year I would require to release it and therefore my marketing for Satyamev Jayate, now and Dangal later has begun.

Hope you guys have understood my promotional activities.

In short, the following are the steps for successful box office releases

Step 1: Lock your ass to money making ideas

Step 2: Do anything to gain public attention

Step 3: Comment crap but controversial on social issues

Step 4: Release some third rated program before movie release"