Gauri Khan slaps Shahrukh Khan after watching 'Dilwale'

Gauri Khan, wife of Bollywood King Shahrukh Khan slapped him hard after watching his upcoming release Dilwale, said movie sources. The sources told India Satire correspondent that the event happened at the time of the first trial that was shown to Gauri Khan at Rohit Shetty's mini theatre located in Bandra.

"After watching the movie when Gauri came out of mini theatre of Rohit Shetty, Shahrukh asked her how did she like the movie. Without answering his question, Gauri immediately first slapped his right cheek and then left cheek," said a sweeper of Rohit Shetty's theatre who was also present when the unfortunate incident happened.

She was so furious that when she raised her hand for another slap, Shahrukh said sorry to her and promised her that he wouldn't do such a kind of crap and third grade movies like Dilwale again, the source informed.

Spaceship arrives to take Aamir Khan found two other aliens, Shahrukh Khan and Deepika Padukone

Swati Gupta

Delhi: 15-December-2015

A spaceship arrived at Mumbai from P.K.'s planet (gola) to take Aamir Khan (P.K.) found two other aliens Shahrukh Khan and Deepika Padukone on the earth. According to spokesperson of P.K.'s gola who also administered the spacecraft's landing on the earth told India Satire correspondent that P.K. had become so outsized that despite having 10 accomplices, they couldn't fit P.K. into spacecraft. He told that it was all disheartening till they saw their two other mates, who are called Shahrukh Khan and Deepika Padukone on the earth.

"Hum to soche rahai the ki hum uu gola kabhai waapis naahi jaayenge bina P.K. ko liye. Par hume ee gola pe hamaar gola ke dusre jeev jantu deekhe. Eek ka naam S.K. (Shahrukh Khan) rahai aur dusre kaa naam Piku (Deepika Padukone) rahai," said spokesperson R.K. who along with P.K. earlier arrived on the earth at the time of climax scene of movie P.K.

R.K. said that he identified both these elements from specific identification marks.

"Uu Pikuji P.K.ji jaisen dekhat rahai aur ee Shahrukhwa ke pet pe P.K. jaisen 16 biskut rahe hai," said R.K. in a single deep breath.

R.K. continued "Uu P.K. gudbag toh ka se kaa hui gawaa, ekdum aikai saal me dancing car ban gaya. Hamaar gola kaa eek eek aadmi ko laage rahe ki P.K. aur uuka bife ko ee gola mai sabhai log pareshaan karat rahai. Hum to uuka lene aaye the, par uu sasur ka naati to ee tashtari me fit hee naahi hua. Fir hamaar register me humne do aur logan ki entry dekhi. Ekai S.K. rahai aur dui Piku rahai."

R.K. told correspondent that one alien who calls himself as Shahrukh Khan and flashes his unnatural 16 packs body exactly looks like P.K. Currently, he has just returned from his visit of Patal Lok to complete his trilogy of crap movies, Chain (he clarifies hindi wala sukh-chain wala chain) Nahi Express, Happy Few Tears and Millwale, after which he was supposed to become their native.

​"Shahrukh is very popular in Patal Lok due to his zombie like looks and we are not going to allow anybody to take to any other planet," said security officer of Patal Lok.

P.K.'s accomplices would face similar problems with Piku's takeover.

Piku's eyes and body exactly looks like P.K. She stares like P.K. and like him she has a strong aversion for a device known as clothes on this gola.

​High similarity of Piku's eyes with PK

"Piku ka soch bilkul P.K. jaisan hai, eekdum hamaar gola ka prani jaisan. Parantu uu ka bhi kauno problem rahi hai. Eekai sanstha jauka naam CRY hai uu ke liye Piku kaam kare hai. Piku uu sanstha ki bhuke nange bachcho ke liye jo kaam kiya jaat hai uu ka duut rahe hai. Hum toh ab sochai rahai hai ki hamaar baaju waale gola ka Thor ko bole ki ee sabai jeev jantu jo hamaar gola ka ees gola pe hai unkaa lekai aao," said R.K.

Our correspondent Swati thanked Alien profusely, for his efforts to take away his gola ka prani.

(Reported by our journalist Swati Gupta)

Breaking News: Aamir Khan's wife asks him not to visit intolerant USA; Shahrukh Khan decides not to release Dilwale in US

Reacting to Donald Trump's urge For 'Complete Shutdown Of Muslims Entering United States', Bollywood actor Aamir Khan's wife Kiran Rao asked him to not to visit America, Aamir Khan told at a conference 'Intolerance in India and Growing Hypocrisy of Intellectuals'.

"I think my wife is not that hypocrite. She also looks like Albert Einstein. She wants me to return the nomination of Lagaan and pledge not to go to US ever in my life," said Aamir Khan, reacting to Donald Trump's hateful comment "US is becoming intolerant day-by-day and therefore I am also going to return all the money received from US audience for watching Dhoom 3."

Aamir Khan told India Satire correspondent post speech at conference that he would be going to PK's planet next year after earning buckets of money from Dangal.

Another popular star, Shahrukh Khan in the conference said "I am not going to release my next movie 'Dilwale' to protest against growing intolerance in America."

According to media sources, thousands Americans sent their thank you messages to Shahrukh Khan for not releasing his movie 'Dilwale'.

Shahrukh Khan to act as a heroine in Rohit Shetty's next movie

Maintaining his gradual transmutation from great hero to new heroine, Shahrukh Khan revealed his new posture in Dilwale's lates song. The actor told media that he will perform as his heroine from next movies onwards and he has chosen Rohit Shetty's next unnamed film. Recently, Shahrukh Khan told media that he has three more films with Rohit Shetty in two of which he would act as a heroine.

"I always wanted to work in different movies, test my skills and explore the immense amount of sweat out of my acting. Earlier I have done different kind of roles like robotic acting, acting with ten packs and non-funny comedy roles. I have reached to the peak of my acting career as being a male actor and now I would like to see myself in a different career like career of beautiful heroine. You can see a glimpse of my heroine like looks in Dilwale's song 'Gerua'. I have completely removed all my hair except from eyebrows and skull, done good eye makeup like any beautiful girl and reached awesomeness of zero figure," said Shahrukh in a press conference while launching the song.

​King Khan said "Its a journey to become Queen Khan. In this journey, I only trust Rohit Shetty and his movies with immense amount of substance. He has a very professional angle and always boosted my energy with the roles that nobody has done in the history of Indian cinema. Therefore, I thought launching me as a heroine should be in safe hands. Rohit is a king of non-funny comedy cinema. He will definitely groom up me as a great Indian film actress. I will act as my hero in the first movie and Karan in the next movie."

According to a source close to SRK, Karan Johar inspired SRK to come out of his shell as a male actor. He also recommended SRK to wear pink and purple costume to understand nitty gritty being a perfect heroine. The source also confirmed that Tiger Shroff has nothing to do with SRK's decision.

(Fake News and satire)