Donald Trump challenges Kim Jong-un in open sumo wrestling fight in a final attempt of US Presidential elections

Republican candidate of US Presidential elections, Donald Trump challenged North Korea's head Kim Jong-Un in an open fight of sumo wrestling before proving his worth as a president of United States of America. Both will fight in WWE ring and would try to eliminate each other from this deadly earth. Kim Jong-Un has accepted the challenge while Trump has shown his excitement.

"This deadly battle is to save the planet from deadly aliens landed in North Korea. First I will f**k the hands of Kim, lift him over my head would throw him into the audience of United States of America. 'This is my battttttllllllleeeeee'," said Donald "First I will prove my candidature by eliminating Kim then after becoming President I will challenge Pakistan's Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif, another different planetary substance."

Another candidate Hillary Clinton has challenged ISIS head Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi in a sumo wrestling championship. Before the real fight she will have practice match with existing US President Barack Obama to try her punches and kicks on.

Donald Trump clears throat

After issuing many controversial statements against minorities and Hillary Clinton, US Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump cleared his throat and allowed his mouth to release nitrogen and oxygen gases.

"Although, he cleared his throat it is not confirmed that he wouldn't say anything in future," said spokesperson of Republican Party "All the previous statements allowed him to clear his throat and release some gases stuck in his gallbladder. Finally as he released every word, it was time to release these gases and cleared his throat."

According to sources, Donald Trump has eaten something yesterday and again filled with more gastric juices to release them soon.

(More stories in World and US section)

Arvind Kejriwal thrashes Donald Trump; claims crony capitalists are communal people

Swati Gupta

Delhi: 09-December-2015

India's Yug Purush and last clean politician, Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal claimed his followers that crony capitalism and communalism are sisters and that has been proved by U.S. Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump. He advised all the Muslims and intellects to come to Delhi and he will provide free residence as well as free water and electricity.

"In my last birth when I was mentoring Martin (Martin Luther King), I told him that U.S. is moving towards crony capitalism and it means it is becoming a highly communal country. That time he denied anything like that is happening in U.S. and thrashed my vision as just a stupid prediction. But now wherever he would be, he would accept his mistake. Today Donald Trump proved me right and therefore he also proves me right for supporting to Laloo in Bihar," Arvind Kejriwal told India Satire correspondent Swati in an exclusive chat.

​Kejriwal confirmed that his fight is not against dual enemies of crony capitalism and communalism but a single one and that is crocaco. He worried about the minority in U.S. and is ready to discuss a formula to rehabilitate them.

He told correspondent "Delhi dill se bhari hai. We invited Ghulam Ali after Shiv Sena's ban on his concert in Mumbai. Same way we invite all the muslims, seculars and intellects to Delhi. Their population may be whatever but we have place for them in our hearts. We will sleep on roads and footpaths but we will give them our shelters. I request all middle class people of Delhi to sacrifice their houses for these refugees from U.S. I have a formula for them all of seculars who want to go to U.S. should come to Delhi on even days we will give every alternative house/flat/bungalow of Delhite to them."

When the correspondent asked him whether he wants to nominate for as a U.S. Presidential candidate in the next elections, Kejriwal cleared the air. He said "Meri koi aukat nee hai. Mein sirf aam aadmi hu. Apne bachchok is sir ki kasam khaata hu, I am not interested in becoming President of U.S. Ha jaate jaate, ek hi baat kehena chahta hu. I have Swiss Bank A/c No. of Donald Trump and I will disclose it soon, may be on some odd day."

(All inputs reported by our special correspondent Swati Gupta from Delhi)

Rahul Gandhi worries about brainwashing of Donald Duck; blames Narendra Modi's frequent visits to US

Swati Gupta

Delhi: 09-December-2015

In a sneering attack on the BJP government, Rahul Gandhi asks explanation from Prime Minister Narendra Modi over rising intolerance in U.S. The Congress Vice President and scion of Gandhi family, Rahul Baba claimed that frequent visits of Narendra Modi stimulated environment of America and affected percipience of his favourite cartoon characters.

"Hon. Speaker, today my favourite cartoon character and childhood friend Donald Duck (according to party sources he was referring to Donald Trump) asked White House to ban Muslims from entering into U.S. How did this happen? Who is responsible for the change in secular virtues of Donald bhai? Is it a planned conspiracy to pollute the environment of U.S. just like it did in India? I want to ask Mr. Modi why he needs to go to U.S. again and again. Is there some specific objective to do that? Hon. Speaker, today Donald bhai left his secular virtues tomorrow Micky Mouse will take same decision. I am pretty sure that it was Mr. Modi who frequently visits U.S. influenced his wisdom. Hon. Speaker, I request a special session of Parliament to discuss rising atrocities and brain washing of my favourite characters from the right wing terror ideologies of India like Yogiji and Sadhvijis. I also believe that increasing visits of Prime Minister to U.S. would have polluted the environment of that country and he should be kept away from Disney Land," said Rahul Gandhi, addressing the Parliament of India.

Rahul Baba also claimed that all his favourite cartoon characters need special security not just in India or U.S. but also all over the world from the right wing terror lobby.

"I asked my uncle Doraemon (here its Diggy Chacha, or Congress Senior Leader Digvijay Singh who also mentored Rahul since his child hood, according to sources) to create a gadget which will bring my favorite Donald Duck to his senses," Rahul confide in an exclusive chat with India Satire correspondent Swati Gupta outside the Parliament.

(All inputs reported by our special correspondent Swati Gupta from Delhi) 

Breaking News: Aamir Khan's wife asks him not to visit intolerant USA; Shahrukh Khan decides not to release Dilwale in US

Reacting to Donald Trump's urge For 'Complete Shutdown Of Muslims Entering United States', Bollywood actor Aamir Khan's wife Kiran Rao asked him to not to visit America, Aamir Khan told at a conference 'Intolerance in India and Growing Hypocrisy of Intellectuals'.

"I think my wife is not that hypocrite. She also looks like Albert Einstein. She wants me to return the nomination of Lagaan and pledge not to go to US ever in my life," said Aamir Khan, reacting to Donald Trump's hateful comment "US is becoming intolerant day-by-day and therefore I am also going to return all the money received from US audience for watching Dhoom 3."

Aamir Khan told India Satire correspondent post speech at conference that he would be going to PK's planet next year after earning buckets of money from Dangal.

Another popular star, Shahrukh Khan in the conference said "I am not going to release my next movie 'Dilwale' to protest against growing intolerance in America."

According to media sources, thousands Americans sent their thank you messages to Shahrukh Khan for not releasing his movie 'Dilwale'.