Reported by Alien4dec
India Satire special correspondent Alien4dec reports the important developments and events of 2015.
Let's glance at 2015 with humble eyes
Jan: Indrani voted as 'Personality of the Year'
Playboy, America's men lifestyle and entertainment magazine declared Indrani Mukerjea as the 'Personality of the Year'. Amongst many high profile contenders she grabbed the top spot defeating Dawood, Bollywood and Hollywood.
Feb: Bollywood legalises same-plant flower marriage
Bollywood becomes the first ever cinemas to legalize same plant flower marriages which are shown during love making scenes. LGBT community welcomed censor boards bold yet compassionate decision.
March: Sunny Leone joins Bollywood, Porn banned in India
Taking preventive measures, government banned porn, since Sunny Leone applied for ration card in India along with permanent citizenship of bollywood.
April: Humble 'Cow' declared India's national animal.
However, in an unexpected twist, the humble 'Cow' emerged as 'National animal of India". Post, save the Tiger campaign by India, now the number of Tigers have grown significantly and in order to avoid extinction of cow, immediate law was passed in both the houses of parliament basis the PIL filed by Maneka Gandhi, environmentalist and animal rights leader in India, to ban the slaughter of the cow and declare it as the national animal, which led to massive debates online and offline, spiraling into the 'beef controversy'.
May: Twitter "Most Eligible Bachelor" Polls
Salman Khan registered a massive mandate as "Most Eligible Bachelor" in Twitter polls, winning 67 of 70 votes defeating the congress party politician Rahul Gandhi.
June: Patanjali withdraws noodles from stores across India
After being banned in several states across the country, following an outbreak of accusations that its instant noodles packet contained no maida and therefore harmful for people with unhealthy diet and who want to improve their immunity,
"Patanjali Ayurveda ignored the improved immunity of people due to eating maida," said a spokesperson of rival brand. Patanjali decides to take noodles off shelves all over India.
A statement issued by Baba Ramdev said: "The trust of our consumers and the safety of our products is our first priority. Unfortunately, recent developments and unfounded concerns about the product have led to an environment of confusion for the consumer, to such an extent that we have decided to withdraw the product off the shelves, despite the product being safe."
July: Tamil Nadu floods
After watching, Sajid Khan's super flop Himmatwala in Chennai, Aamir Khan cried out so loud that entire city, experienced flood crisis as the actor could not stop crying and all the rivers and lakes overflowed, rail tracks and runways were flooded and roads collapsed. Many victims have suggested that Aamir Khan should leave India due to extreme intolerance amongst people for his torrential tears. The 50 years old actor said, "I am highly emotional person and could not stop my tears after watching Himmatwala and this movie should be banned permanently to avoid any further floods in India".
Aug: Free Petrol distribution by Arvind Kejriwal
On 1st Aug which is worldwide celebrated as Girlfriend's Day, CM of Delhi, Arvind Kejriwal declared a scheme of free distribution of 4 liters of petrol every year to each Delhiites having even number plates on their vehicles to mark the birth anniversary of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia who had more than 25 wives.
Rahul Gandhi leader of singleton along with several Engineers marched India Gate to protest this decision, obviously we all know the reason, and neither he nor engineers have any girlfriend.
Sept: Govinda named "TIME Person of the Year 2015"
The most influential magazine named film actor Govinda as the "Time person of the Year", who has been known for consistently coming late to film shoots for more than two decade.
Oct: Best Actor Academy Awards
The Academy Awards, commonly referred to as the "Oscars" is an annual American awards ceremony honoring cinematic achievements in the film industry. Surprisingly, this year Italian-born Indian politician Sonia Gandhi received this honourable award for her outstanding contribution as an actress in leading role in Indian politics.
Nov: Google CEO Sundar Pichai to join Indian Cricket Team
While speaking to India Satire correspondent, CEO of Google, Sundar Pichai, said that in his childhood he always wanted to be a cricketer and after watching legend Sachin Tendulkar play for India, he was determined to lead the Indian cricket team. So, finally on children's day, he quit Google to join the Indian Cricket Team and represent as the Captain of the team.
Dec: Earth to end on 31st Dec 2015
Last Christmas, yes the world shall celebrate their last Christmas in 2015 since, NASA in a breaking news declared that world will come to end on 31st Dec 2015. So, all the citizens across the world are enjoying and partying like never before, since all school, colleges and offices are closed permanently.
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